Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Stories I will tell at my child's wedding

Scene: A tired but happy scientist/mother picking up her toddler from pre-school. Mother enters stage right. Teacher is reading books to children. When scientist/mother enters, teacher stops reading to greet her.

Bean Teacher: Lately Bean has been wearing shirts. Do you still have onesies for her?

ScienceMama: Yes, a few.

Bean Teacher: Would you mind putting Bean in onesies for a little while? She's been tugging at her diapers lately.

ScienceMama: Oh yes, she's been doing that at home sometimes too. We've been trying to teach her that her diapers are dirty.

Bean Teacher: Today she stuck her hand into the back and got poop on her hand...

ScienceMama: [Mortified silence]

Bean Teacher: ... and then wiped it on another child's mother.

15 comments:

Ambivalent Academic said...

Oh that is SO GROSS! and SO FUNNY!

Pleeeeeeease don't tell that story at her wedding...but do tell it to her prom date. She will hate you for it but you will have gotten it out of your system and by the time her wedding rolls around she will have gotten over it.

"..and then wiped it on another child's mother."

That just slays me!

ScientistMother said...

that is too funny, just the type of story I needed. What makes it more funny is that I can totally see my son doing the same thing. He is infatuated with putting his hands down his diaper...I guess I should find some onesies

hypoglycemiagirl said...

ouch, poor other mother

Jenn said...

That's so gross!!! hahahaha

I think that silence between sentence parts must have felt like a life time... like, oh no, what did she doo with her poop covered hand?!

Academic said...

Oh my oh my oh my.... Yes I think that's a story for the mother memory book. As if you could forget it...

ScienceWoman said...

OMG LOL, seriously. Too funny. We've had Minnow in shirts since this summer when she developed an interest in the potty. Periodically she'll have spurts of wanting to pulldown her diaper and pants, but we've never had her stick her hand in her pants. Thank goodness. :)

PhizzleDizzle said...

o...m....g....i laughed so hard on this one. particularly the "wiping on mother" part...that was comic genius! it's all the funnier because it's true....thanks :).

The bean-mom said...

I would totally tell that story at her wedding.

Kristen said...

HAA! Awesome!

Aunt Becky said...

Bwahahaha!

Parenthood mortifies us on so many levels.

Julie R said...

Oh my goodness. How did you respond to that?

Tina said...

Haha, haha! I've gotten all sorts of bodily excretions all over me ever since becoming a mother... but never have I had other children's poop on me. haha! Poor woman!

EcoGeoFemme said...

HAHAHAHA!

Eppendork said...

At least she didn't eat it...

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