Monday, May 26, 2008

Knowing is not the same as Knowing

When Bean is fussy, like right now at this very second, it is hard to not feel like a terrible mother. She is teething right now, a front tooth and some molars, and she is having a terrible time of it. Eating is interspersed with tears. She stops playing and starts to cry. And nighttime is terrible. Bedtime is the worst. She screams and cries until she is out of breath. She chews on her little fingers. She writhes in our laps and claws at us in desperation.

It's so hard when you've done everything in your power to help (lots of hugs and cold teethers, clove oil and frozen washcloths...) but she's still so sad. We don't believe in letting her cry it out, but sometimes that's exactly what she has to do. In our arms, of course, not alone in her crib. But lately it seems that in order to fall asleep she has to release some of this pent up tension with tears and screaming.

It's hard. Comforting her as best I can and still she screams into my shoulder the most terrible screams I have ever heard. On nights like tonight, after she has screamed it out and falls asleep, Husband and I hold each other for a minute or two. A silent sign of support. We know we are good parents. But knowing is not the same as knowing.

8 comments:

ScienceGirl said...

Hugs!

ScientistMother said...

uGH! teething is the most horrible aspect of babydom - next to having to hold them for their shots. It will be okay, and has horrible as it is because so many are coming in at once, it will be a shorter period of teething. Just an FYI, Bean may loss weight as teething will decrease her appetite, I know it sound so duh, but monkey lost more than I thought he would because of the combination of not eating + tons of crawling. Many hugs, and you're holding her so she does know that you're there

Emily said...

I've heard that brandy is excellent for a teething baby. It wasn't until after my Little Man got all of his teeth that I realised they were talking about giving it to the baby. *hiccup*

Just kidding

:)

Amanda said...

Sending hugs and good vibes your way! You are great parents!

The bean-mom said...

Oh, so sorry to hear that Bean is having a tough time.

It really is so awful to hold them through the screaming. We're lucky that Legume is not having *that* tough a time with her teeth (yet).

And you and your husband are awesome parents!

Kate said...

By letting her cry in your arms you are definitely not letting her "cry it out!" You're letting her get out some of that pent up frustration, just like you said. You're doing such a wonderful job.

Nicole said...

Have you tried Hylands teething tablets? They are really a miracle worker for my little girl.

ScienceGirl said...

Video on homeopathic medicine (food for thought :)