Friday, August 22, 2008

I think I'm paranoid

I took birth control pills for approximately 11 years straight before Husband and I decided we wanted to get pregnant. When Bean was born, we decided not to reinstate the pill until I was done breastfeeding so that I wouldn’t be exposing Bean to hormones via the milk.

Well it’s 16 months later (holy crap!) and I’m still breastfeeding. So we are using other, less effective methods of contraception. And even though we’re very religious about using said methods, I can’t help but freak out every single month waiting for my period.

Oh god, it’s been 33 days. I’m totally pregnant. In fact, I feel kind of nauseous and tired today. And I have been craving Ben and Jerry’s. I’m totally pregnant, aren’t I? Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t.

And so here I sit today. Nauseous and anxious. Knowing I’m not pregnant, but ohgodwe’dbetotallyscrewedifIam… So anxious was I that I actually walked my not-pregnant butt over to the hospital pharmacy.

Can I buy a pregnancy test here?

No, I’m sorry, we don’t carry them replies the pharmacy tech in her most sympathetic voice, as if I'd just asked to schedule my first chemo treatments.

So I walked, humiliated and with a very full bladder, back to lab. Argh. Husband is going to mock me for days when I make him stop to pick up a pack of pregnancy tests on the way home.

The take home message, my friends, is that the pill rules, all other forms of contraception leave too much to my paranoid imagination.

14 comments:

ScientistMother said...

I think that it is totally normal to be that way. I think I've taken about 5 prego tests due to the anxiety of thinking I'm pregnant. OMG my belly is feeling tight, I'm nausea I MUST be pregnant even though I just had my period a week ago...aahh I miss the pill.

Isis the Scientist said...

Take a deep, deep breath. If you are, you are, and if you're not, you're not...

Aunt Becky said...

I smile and nod because I did the same thing the entire time I nursed Alex. Every single month I was utterly convinced I was pregnant. Never, ever was, but I peed on many a stick.

I'll be waiting to hear the verdict!

Sherri said...

I'm ON the pill and still get nervous...

BM said...

ISIS, Yoda is

hypoglycemiagirl said...

IUD with hormones rocks. At least for me. Kept me happily unpregnified for 6 years.

mama of the valley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mama of the valley said...

i agree that its totally normal. and i offer for your consideration that pregnancy tests are rather low tech and the ones available at your local dollar store will do the trick.

paranoia, at a lower price!

don't steal that - it's going to be the tagline for my new chain of stores...

Matt & Sarah said...

I went home from the hospital w/ new baby and "progesterone-only" pills I was to start taking 4 weeks post-partum. Baby is now two years old, and I never took them since we're just now starting to wean. If you'd told me then I'd be breastfeeding for two years, I'd have laughed in your face :)

The bean-mom said...

I am also a member of the paranoia club. I also don't use the birth control pill because I'm nursing my by. Haven't been on the Pill since my pregnancy with the first kid, actually. And every single time I feel run down, ill, or nauseous, I'm convinced that I'm pregnant.

I'm going to have to take Mama of the Valley's suggestion to load up at a dollar store. Pregnancy test kits from the grocery store are expensive! (which is where I buy them in my paranoid fits)

ScienceMama said...

For the record, I was totally just being paranoid. Negative pregnancy test on Friday night, and "proof" that I'm not pregnant today...

sunshine mama said...

I hear you on the paranoia, but I couldn't have taken it as long as you have! At 4 months post-partum 8 months ago), I got the hormone-free IUD and have been so happy I did! I opted for this type for a couple of reasons, the number one reason being breastfeeding. I highly recommend this type of IUD as it lasts for 10 years, doesn't interfere with your regular cycle, is hormone free, you can remove it whenever and if you want to have another child, and it helps you kiss good-bye to the paranoia!

drdrA said...

just 3 letters for you, I.U.D. (with hormones, of course)

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

This is a totally normal response!

After years of problem-free pill use in the UK, I can't find a single Canadian birth control pill that doesn't make me sick. The Depo shot was awesome, but after taking it for 2 years my doctor won't prescribe it again due to the osteoporosis risk. 2 doctors have now failed to get an IUD into me, so much pain and bleeding later I am stuck with the monthly panic.

BTW a friend of mine got pregnant while on the pill (and swears she took it 100% according to instructions). She's one of the 0.1%!