Thursday, August 28, 2008

Floods, insurance and waiting

We're still waiting to get a response from the insurance company about whether or not they will cover the flood. In the meantime I am floundering, trying to stay sane and not just have a complete mental breakdown.

Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning and everyone around me is watching and commenting about how nice the weather is. Like everyone is telling me to just man up and smile and pretend like everything is fine while the life that Derek and I built together crumbles around us like so much drywall.

I'm expected to act like everything is normal. But I'm spilling samples and dropping gels. I'm crying as I take my timepoints, wondering if their will be a lien on our home, if we'll be sued, if we'll lose everything we have and more because of some tiny part in our stupid washing machine that just... failed. Because I had to wash the damn laundry.

18 comments:

hypoglycemiagirl said...

I totally understand and I think you're allowed to worry (even if it doesn't help your situation). I would've been a nervous wreck too! In the end everything usually turns out fine, but there is always this horrible "what if it doesn't?"

If I'd been rich I'd send you a cheque, but unfortunately I'm not :-(

ScientistMother said...

I think if you weren't bordering on a mental breakdown, you would be considered abnormal. It is totally normal to be feeling the way you are. It may not turn out alright. Which would suck ass to be in debt again. But its just money. I know that sounds cold but you have bean and your husband, who are safe. You have great friends that stepped up to help you. They are what matter most. Material things can be replaced. Which is not to say it doesn't suck ass. it totally sucks ass. big fuckin ass. huge fucking ass.

Amanda said...

I think your worry is completely justified and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I agree with Scientist Mother that bordering on a nervous breakdown is completely normal in this situation. Nothing profound here, just wanted to offer support.

Anonymous said...

Longtime lurker, first post. Just wishing the best for you and your family. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

EcoGeoFemme said...

Of course you had to do the laundry. Things in your life would be a lot worse if you didn't do the laundry (i.e. you wouldn't have a life you built that could crumble).

It's okay to cry and worry. And also to take a day off or fake work for a few days. Yes, I think fake working is the way to go, because then you still get paid.

Is there anything we can do to help besides listen? And promise we won't get tired of hearing about it? Because we won't.

Aunt Becky said...

I won't piss roses OR sunshine and tell you it will all be easy and fun. It's not my style.

But I'm here, holding your hand.

Jane said...

What everyone else said---cry, worry, do the bare minimum at work---whatever it takes to get yourself through this. I think people are acting hyper-normal around you because they don't really know how to deal with friends/colleagues in crisis. Hugs to you---I hope everything gets resolved soon.

mama of the valley said...

this too shall pass. and no matter what happens you have your hubby, you have your baby girl. you will be ok.

in the meantime, come escape to oregon for the weekend and i'll buy you an adult beverage!

ScienceWoman said...

(((Oh hugs.))) I so wish that there was something we could do to help. And I'm with the others in saying to just do the bare minimum at work while you get stuff sorted out. Find the menial tasks you can do while your mind is elsewhere. And don't be afraid to cry and ask for help from those around you.

Jenn said...

ugh. I definitely hear you on the "put on a happy face" expectations when your world is crumbling. It's such a tough place to be. It's totally normal to feel this way. As the others have said, try to focus on the good things and know that eventually it will all work itself out. But it sucks. huge. If it's too much to cope with, can you talk to a doctor, put you on some sort of stress leave / short term disability until things settle down?

Day ByDay said...

Oh sweetie :( A flood is a DISASTER (whether by machine or mother nature) - I'm so sorry you're being made to feel that you should continue on as if nothing was wrong.

The nurses in the NICU used to tell me that I was entitled to at least two breakdowns per day - and I feel that you are also entitled to at least as many! So have as many as you need to get through each day.

I also prescribe cuddling with little bean and your husband. Nothing helps block out the world like a cuddle with your baby.

The bean-mom said...

Sciencemama, I am just so so sorry you are going through this. *Hugs* to you and your Bean. Lab work is not a priority right now; take care of your self this week, first.

ScienceGirl said...

:( It is selfish of people to expect you to pretend everything is fine just because they can't handle a coworker/friend in distress. I am keeping you in my thoughts, and hoping there are people near you that are willing to lend a helping hand. {{{hugs}}}

Candid Engineer said...

Oh, darling, I am so sorry about this. It is so terribly disappointing when some normal thing in your life fails you. These people who are talking to you have the luxury of not imagining worst case scenario.

I really feel for you. I, too, have had home-related breakdowns this week. Hang on at work and cut yourself some slack. We are here to listen to as much as you want.

hypoglycemiagirl said...

tag when you have time/if you're interested/ while you're waiting....

Janus Professor said...

Hugs!

Does your university have free legal services? You might be able to learn of some options through that route.

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