Saturday, December 6, 2008

Delusional parenting 101

A couple of friends who have babies the same age as Bean were getting together to take the kiddos to a Tiny Tots Symphony Performance of the Dissertation City Opera. I was really excited to bring Bean because she LOVES music, and the event was billed as an interactive performance geared towards very small children.

The morning started off great. Bean was very excited to go "see music", and dutifully put on her dress and allowed me to put clips in her hair. She sang ABC's all the way to the symphony hall.

And the first couple of minutes of the performance went exactly as I had imagined. She sat in my lap, we sang with the talented musicians and singers, there were action songs. But after the novelty wore off, Bean was all wiggles and writhed her slippery way right out of my lap.

Before I knew it I was following her up and down the aisle, past all the children sitting perfectly in their parents laps, and back to the stairs. Up and down the stairs Bean went, back and forth, back and forth. Dancing to the music sometimes, but not looking on stage even once. I tried pathetically to get her interested in the music again while nearby parents gave me knowing looks. Good luck, sister the other mothers seemed to say. But at least she wasn't screaming.

Until she decided that she wanted to slide face first down the stairs on her stomach. At this point I tried to pick her up, but that little Bean was more slippery than a greased pig. As she tried to wrest herself from my grasp, Bean somehow smacked her chin on the ground, biting her tongue in two places.

I picked up my poor wailing Bean and hauled her out of the concert hall. Once her bloody tongue had been inspected and deemed to be still intact, I let her burn off a little steam by chasing her around the lobby. When Bean said she was ready to go listen to the music again, I took her back in, just in time for the last song.

She clapped wildly as the musicians took their bow.

7 comments:

Grumpy, PhD said...

What is up with all those other kids that are so polite and still... how do those parents get them to do that? I used to buy aisle seats for easy access, but now I take the opposite tactic...it's easier to keep them confined from the middle of the row.

The bean-mom said...

Ohhh, poor Bean!

I remember when a friend of mine took her 3-yr old to a "kid-friendly" classical music concert. After hearing her story about it (it didn't go over well), I knew I that I wouldn't be taking my kids to any concerts till they were (at least) in kindergarten.

And by the way, when did your Bean start talking so well? In one of your last posts she's already speaking in complete sentences!! And now singing her ABCs! Oh my goodness, when did all this happen...

mama of the valley said...

Sounds like enormous fun for mom! ;)

ScienceMama said...

Oh no, Bean-mom. She's not singing her ABCs. She sings "ABC" over and over and over again. And she'll sometimes copy the end bit "next time won't you sing with me".

She "sings" songs... as in, I can recognize one or two words and figure out which song she thinks she's singing.

Aunt Becky said...

I laugh because both of my kids would never sit through anything like that, either. They're great kids, of course, but that's just not how they roll. SADLY.

Perhaps next time I try something like that, I will invest in some horse tranqs. For me, of course.

Mona Albano said...

I was lucky; mine sat through a renaissance re-enactment of Everyman at 8 months, entranced by the music; but it had everything, including tumblers. Mostly I didn't take him to things he had to sit still for until he was five.

ScientistMother said...

I'm sorry, since when did "child-friendly" require kids sitting still and listening???? Why the hell would parents give you knowing looks. Isn't the whole point of child-friendly mean that you're not supposed to be given looks when your child doesn't want to sit still.

Grumpy, PhD - I've decided that those kids have been sedated by their parents. :)