I started back to work six weeks ago, but we were lucky enough to have grandmas on Bean-duty until this past Friday. Which was a really good way for me to transition back to work. I was more comfortable being able to leave Bean with a family member instead of at daycare and get used to my new work schedule. And Bean definitely benefitted from all the extra one-on-one time with her grandmas. But there's only so long you can delay the inevitable, and today is Bean's first day at daycare.
Bean's daycare is actually a Montessori school not far from home, and we really like the two women who work in the infant room. They are very experienced, both mothers, and seem really loving. There are three other babies starting today, all the same age as Bean, so they'll be good little friends for her as she develops and gains new skills, and they'll move on to the toddler room around the same time as Bean. So if Bean has to be in daycare, it's definitely the best possible situation for her.
I put off getting all her stuff ready for daycare until the last possible minute, because basically I was in total denial. Yesterday afternoon Husband and I finally went out and purchased the things we needed to send to daycare (extra diapers, wipes, emergency supplies, etc). Then finally at 8:00 last night, I asked Husband to help me put together all of Bean's stuff for this morning. Bibs, changes of clothes, labeled bottles, a blanket, some binkies, and the little puppy that she likes to cuddle when she's trying to go to sleep. I tried to be upbeat about the whole thing, and kept referring to today as "her first day of school."
This morning went surprisingly smoothly, despite the fact that Bean woke up about an hour earlier than usual so we were trying to get ready while entertaining her. We put her in her special goldfish dress and gave her plenty of kisses. At 7:00 we packed all her daycare stuff into the car and drove the 2 minutes to her school. Once inside, we began to unpack all her stuff into her labeled cubby and realized we left her bottles of milk at home... the one item that she HAD to have!! So Husband ran home to get the bottles, and I had a couple of extra minutes to play with Bean on the floor. She was cheery and bright, and I tried not to be upset.
When Husband got back with the bottles we put her into the bouncy chair, where she sat happily batting at toys, and left... It was pretty much the hardest thing I've ever done. I cried less than I thought I would, but I was silent on the drive to work. I'm now deciding how long I have to wait before I can call and check on her. I'm sure she's completely fine. Happy even. But I miss her.
Good thing the weather matches my mood.
Brief Detour for Despair
23 hours ago